Pigeon pigeon pigeon, I didn't expect that I haven't updated my blog for almost a year. The main reason is that I was too busy in high school (all excuses: D).
Review of the Past Year#
In the past year, I, personally, have experienced the high school entrance exam and the COVID-19 pandemic; in society, I have witnessed the comprehensive opening up and the emergence of ChatGPT. Although there are many things worth talking about, I plan to first chat with everyone about the bits and pieces of life.
Middle School Stage#
The middle school part of last year has already been discussed in the previous article, so I will only mention a few important stages here:
- In May, I failed the entrance exam for the provincial experimental Nanshan class (I have to admit that Napoleon's triangle and chemical bonds really got me, and it was a bit sudden to have the exam the day after the notification).
- In May, I had high blood pressure for a week in a row.
- In June, I took the middle school entrance exam, which was probably the easiest exam paper in the past ten years.
- In July, I missed the graduation ceremony due to the education bureau changing its mind and releasing the results early while I was on a trip.
These are the main experiences of my middle school stage. Although I didn't do well in the entrance exam (at least that's how I feel), I didn't completely fail. I went to the CS department of the school that I had rejected before.
High School Stage#
Summer Camp#
My high school stage started in August of last summer vacation (the selection for the competition class). On July 31st, after having an argument with my dad, I chose the physics experience camp out of anger (it was originally the information camp). I thought it would be a competition among just a dozen people and would be resolved in a week, but when I arrived at the venue, I found that there were more than 90 people competing for a dozen spots. The key was that we had to stay for another week after the exam. So I told my mom that I probably had no hope (actually, I just didn't want to give up my summer vacation). But then CS served beef for a few days and made me feel extremely comfortable, so I had the idea of staying. In the end, I accidentally got the third place in the exam (although I really didn't receive any information, CAN's consolation was a misunderstanding, I hope it can be resolved soon), so I stayed in the competition class physics camp as the second place.
Let me talk about something interesting. In order to appease our emotions, the summer camp even organized a picnic.
Formal Start of School#
The best thing about being in the competition class is that I hardly have to do military training, just a little training every day to get a feel for it. But it's still quite interesting, and I even won a first prize.
After the formal start of school, everything went on track, and I quickly became familiar with my classmates. Teacher Sun also gave me a lot of encouragement. Everything seemed so harmonious, and I planned to make my mark. However, the first monthly exam hit me hard, as I didn't make it into the top 100. This was a heavy blow to me, who thought I could stand out. Fortunately, I managed to ease my mood a bit by getting into the top 50 in the mid-term exam. But the subsequent fluctuating grades made me realize the difference in high school learning.
Let's talk about the competition. I chose physics competition (yes, that's the physics competition with a bunch of nerds). There is a lot of interesting content to learn, and I personally like it very much. So I invested a lot of time in practicing questions, but the results were not very good (otherwise, I wouldn't be complaining).
Regarding the issue of learning, I will analyze it in a separate section, so let's move on.
Let's talk about the activities of the CS competition class. First of all, students in the competition class are not allowed to participate in clubs and student unions (actually, you don't have time to do that either). But we did participate in street sweeping, sports meetings, and spring outings (I even participated in the shot put competition and had my third cup of bubble tea in my life).
Let's talk about something special. When I was throwing the shot put, my classmates even played the song "Cat Poisoning" (although I quite like it, I'm definitely not a Jiaxin candy).
Academic Aspect#
Well, after talking so much, I finally come to the topic of studying. Actually, studying is still the main source of pressure in my high school life (whether it's the college entrance exam or the competition). Although some people call me "Ye Shen" (a nickname), I know that I'm still a rookie. I have learned high school physics, mechanics, and electromagnetics quite quickly in the first year. I have almost finished brushing up on advanced mathematics, and I have memorized over a hundred pages of vocabulary. But I think I still have many shortcomings, a few of which are particularly prominent:
- I do questions too quickly and often don't think about them.
- I tend to get nervous and have low blood sugar after exams (not just once or twice).
- I am too eager for quick success and instant benefits, and I tend to worry too much.
- Perhaps I lack a spirit of exploration.
- ...
These have led to my inability to stand out in competitions and the college entrance exam. Therefore, I have some plans to make up for these shortcomings:
- Practice regularly to get a feel for exams.
- Learn how to take exams properly and manage time effectively.
- Lay a solid foundation in mathematics and then study physics theory on top of it (for example, finish advanced mathematics and linear algebra first).
I also plan to use the weekends to find materials and broaden my horizons, and use the Feynman learning method for output.
Personal Life#
Well, actually, my parents were worried about my ability to take care of myself when they didn't want me to go to CS, but in high school, I became the class monitor (fate is funny).
Overall, life in CS is quite good. I play badminton when I should, eat beef when I should. Although some people say that CS is like a walled city - "people outside want to get in, people inside want to get out," I personally feel that it's not too bad. However, I did lose a lot of weight, that's true. Here's the proof:
Me when I just started high school
Me after one semester
Philosophical Thoughts#
Finally, I come to the topic I most want to talk about (yes, everything before was just a prelude). Although I have less time for thinking since I entered high school, I still have some strange thoughts (perhaps influenced by Nietzsche during middle school).
Aspiration#
In today's era, the emergence of ChatGPT has made many people feel a sense of crisis, but as a person who is already quite pessimistic, I feel that it's not too bad. Comparing the development of the times, the era of machines replacing mindless labor will come sooner or later. People may wonder if AI can replace humans, but I don't think so. Perhaps AI can replace some repetitive work and maybe have some degree of "thinking," but I always believe that AI cannot have self-consciousness. Some people may argue against this view, but has ChatGPT passed the Turing test? Moreover, although neural networks are close to the human brain in learning, they cannot be considered independent thinking. So, in my opinion, AI can only be an assistant, it cannot replace the most essential qualities of human beings. With that being said, I want to talk about my aspirations.
First of all, I am an idealist (although quite pessimistic). I believe that when people exist in the world, they should not just blindly obey or imitate, but should have their own subjective judgment and not be led by others. Perhaps the concept of the greater good is not in line with yours, or perhaps your vision is unlikely to be realized, or maybe you are just living a mediocre life, but you must not blindly conform. That way, you lose your reason and humanity, and you can't even compare to ChatGPT. In today's world, too many people just blindly follow the current, being carried away by the waves of the era, lacking their own opinions. I think this is not good for science or similar things. Although we currently have no way to change it, we should still hold on to this belief. Even though the teenage hero may eventually become a villain, as long as you hold on to this belief, it's still better than just living a mediocre life without any future.
Dealing with People#
This is probably my middle way. I particularly appreciate the saying:
When confronting others, be tough at first, and if you find that you can't win, soften up and comply.
Some people may say that this is a sign of being weak, and I won't deny it. But when someone argues with you, if you keep adding fuel to the fire, it may lead to an earlier result. Besides, when confronting others, as long as the problem can be solved, it doesn't matter whether the other person agrees or not. After all,
Walk your own path and let others talk.
Another point is that when interacting with others, one should treat them sincerely and not stab them in the back. Leave the benefits to others rather than enjoying them alone. Perhaps this often leads to being taken advantage of, but having a clear conscience is the best result.
I may have talked about these points in an overly idealistic way, but as an idealist, this is how I restrain myself. Perhaps this is what I consider to be the way of great harmony.
Emotions#
Actually, I am a rather pessimistic person, but in a Nietzschean way.
I believe that life is like crossing a tribulation, and one experiences a lot of suffering in one's lifetime. Perhaps death is the best relief. But why do people live? Is it just for themselves? Probably not. It may be for those who love you, such as parents, friends... For them, one cannot die. So, I have come up with my own set of views on emotions:
- Treat people sincerely and do not belittle or ridicule others.
- Do not intentionally harm others (such as cursing or mocking).
- Do not get married (if you get married, there will be at least one more person who cares about you. In that case, there are two possibilities: either when you die, there will be one more person grieving for you, or when she dies, you will grieve for her).
Some people may say that my thoughts are twisted, but these are indeed my feelings. Perhaps only when I break free from this cycle will I be able to change.
Conclusion#
This year of life has been quite diverse. Although I often feel emo, fortunately, I have the company of the physics camp buddies - Bad Uncle Xiao Huihui, the high-cold and funny girl AX, CAN who seems rough on the surface but is actually quite nice... I accidentally wrote until after 11 o'clock. I hope my 16-year-old self can be more open-minded, appreciate the beauty of life, strive for the top 20, and make it into the provincial team!